Running From The Grim Reaper

Amazing how timing works. Some medical issues have come up that, if I had still been employed, I wouldn't have had time to focus on. Being unemployed has given me a great opportunity to focus on running from the Grim Reaper.

Mom came to visit from Illinois in late January, right after I got laid off. While we were up at Meredith's house, I got a call from the doctor's office. I had gone in for routine blood tests in conjunction with an annual physical (gotta use that medical insurance while it's cheap!), and apparently my blood glucose levels were too high. They wanted me to come in for more tests.

Sooooo ....... we know what that means. Given our family history, and my age (about the same age as when Dad was diagnosed with diabetes), and my weight, I didn't need more tests to know that the news was bad.

It was like a lot of the analogies ... insert the most appropriate one here ..... a light went off, a door to a dark hall was opened, the Grim Repear came a-knockin' .... my future was staring me in the face ..... whatever. Diabetes came calling.

Prior to my next appointment, I bought a great little book ("The First Year: Type 2 Diabetes, An Essential Guide for the Newly Diagnosed", by Gretchen Becker), researched what the different glucose count levels mean, got a blood glucose meter, got a pedometer.

No sense waiting to hear what I already knew --

I started walking, shooting for a minimum of 10,000 steps a day. For me, that means walking with Bill and Shiner in the morning and evening (about 15 minutes and 2200 steps each) and then 30-50 minutes sometime during the day. Unfortunately, there are no sidewalks in Lago Vista, but there are 9 holes of golfing behind our house, and another 9 holes of golfing across the street, so plenty of walking paths. I listen to audiobooks during the longer walk, and have a great opportunity to talk to my wonderful hubby on the other two.

Then I started tracking what I eat and keeping the calories to about 1200. I was having awful cravings all the time -- always hungry -- but I was losing about 1/2 pound a day. OK, but agony.

Then, for kicks, I started tracking the fat, protein, cholesterol, fiber, carbs and sodium in the food I was eating. OMG!!! I was consuming hundreds of carbohydrates and thousands of milligrams of sodium. Horrible, horrible. No wonder I was having cravings ....

So I started looking for substitutes for the high-carb, high-sodium foods. Thank goodness for the internet. So many resources out there. I set goals of 20 carbs a day and 2400 mg of sodium.

And little by little, day by day, I started changing out the foods. I've tried every diet known to woman -- none of them have worked for me -- but for me, tracking on a spreadsheet (I love spreadsheets, for some inane reason) and tweaking the numbers and seeing what the results are, works.

And now ....... today is the end of my first-month project to run as far, and as fast, from the Grim Reaper aas possible ..... I am free of cravings, feeling full of energy, 10 pounds lighter -- and as of this morning, my fasting blood sugar (which turns out to be my problem) is down TEN POINTS. In another month, I should be down 20 pounds and within normal range on my blood sugar. This morning I pulled out 2 skirts and 3 pairs of slacks from the next-size-down part of my closet. Hallelujah, we're on our way.

I feel empowered, and motivated .....

And grateful for a second chance.

Amazing How Things Work

So far, 2009 has been an interesting year for me, and we're only 60 days into it.

In mid-January I got laid off. Not unexpected, I must confess -- my employer has had lay-offs every month since last September. This time, they let everyone go that didn't have a direct tie to bringing in revenue. Everyone who's still there is partly hopeful, but mostly just waiting for the end to come. In any event, they couldn't afford severance pay, so instead the lay-offs were done as temporary lay-offs, which means that the company still pays its share of medical benefits for 12 weeks. Fortunately, I can keep my benefits until mid-April while still collecting unemployment insurance. Not a bad way to go.

It's good to be debt-free in this period. While I'm jobless we'll have to forego investment contributions (but who wants to throw that $$$ down the black hole right now anyway), but unemployment more than covers our needs. Regardless of how I feel about the federal "stimulus package", Obama will be paying 65% of my COBRA expense from mid-April forward (should I remain unemployed), and we're feeling lucky to have that. And once unemployment runs out, savings will keep us going for 7-8 months. Freedom from debt is truly the secret, though, to keeping the expenses low. I thank my brother Matt and sister-in-law Shelley for being such a great example of how to weather tough times. We've definitely learned from them.

So, everything is good for us for at least a year, should worse come to worst. Still, I'm antsy to get back to work. Been spending my days networking, sending out resumes, applying for everything from $15/hour up. I have no fear of starting at the bottom again ..... it's fun working my way to the top.

My days are busy .... nights bring anxiety-driven thoughts, but that just comes with the unemployment territory. All will be well.

New Paths

I'm on a new path, I think ...... working on a plan to move into the next phase of my "never retire, just downgrade" career path. I like working at my job, the people are nice, the work is challenging, and it pays well. Yet, something about the hubby being at home full time and me being away from him for 12-13 hours a day, then home for 2 hours, and then to sleep leaves something to be desired. So ...... the next phase is to find a job 1) where I can really work just 8 hours a day, not 10-11 (and get paid overtime!) and 2) that is maybe 20-30 minutes away instead of an hour. That will require accepting a reduction in pay. So ..... the plan is:

1) Get healthy -- being healthy means paying less for prescription drugs.
2) Figure out a budget -- so we can live on less.
3) Learn Spanish -- so I'll be bilingual and can have first pick of the $35K to $40K jobs in the area.

The goal is to be ready to move the job within a year. Bill graciously agreed to learn Spanish with me, and we're looking at Rosetta Stone for Spanish immersion, which of course is the best. Marc and Matt speak Spanish, so I'll find ways to speak more often with them once I'm at level 3 and conversant. This could be fun ......

Blessed

Came home from a great family reunion -- it's hard to describe how I feel, but then I was listening to a playlist today and heard the song that totally describes how I felt about the reunion. Please enjoy it -- I mean every single word.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjsD2hO__0E

To Lyric

About your first comment on teaching people that "The Way" is to emulate females .... your professors may have interpretted it that way, but Lao Tzu says to be female is to be the center of life, the giver of life in all things. Obviously Lao Tzu was pretty evolved for his time. Yes, the basic teaching is to simplify, to give up the need for acquisition of things, to give up the need for control, to learn and to love all things living. Good teachings.

getting old is no party

OMG, what a week. Wednesday I tripped on my own feet and took a header into a chair in the reception area at work. Huge pratt fall. Hugely embarrassing.

Because I was trying to recover instead of falling, I ended up taking 2-3 steps during the tripping process, and actually ended up running head-first into a chair instead of merely falling. Call me Grace (with all appropriate apologies to my grand-niece Gracen, and my wonderful co-worker Grace).

You know how everything slows down before a crash? I remember two things as I was taking the dive: 1) Oh, now this is going to be really embarrassing, and 2) don't hit the reception table. So then I'm laying there, stunned ... thinking "maybe no one saw it ..... I can just get up and act like nothing happened." Then I saw my glasses on the ground, bent out of alignment, and I saw my right ring finger, also bent out of alignment, and then the employees started to gather, and I knew all possibility of this being a non-event was trashed.

My friend Grace took me to the ER and called Bill, sat with me through the paperwork and the cutting off of my anniversary ring (sob), and stayed until Bill arrived. Four hours later I was home with some really good drugs (who knew? they give you lovely parting gifts after an injury! *LOL) and starting to heal.

My coworkers have been getting a lot of mileage out of this (threatening to turn the video security tape, which shows the event, over to america's funniest home videos for quick cash), while I am threatening to charge them $5 each for the show.

Mothers' Day

What a beautiful day. Warm, sunny, breezy .... perfect. Thinking a lot about what a great Mom I have today.

I'm adding some pictures Bill took of the back yard this afternoon to show what a heaven we live in. Sure, there are weeds, and bees and hornets, bugs and skunks. But Central Texas is truly heaven, and I have a piece of that in my back yard. I'm so grateful.